Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

I'm In Love...With Facebook

Thursday, September 24 Posted by admin | Labels: love, TCB

Facebook uploaded by _Max-B on Flickr

After being harassed by hubby, for years..., I finally decided to give Facebook a try. This was not my first time so I have a couple of sorry profiles that remain abandoned. So many people loved Facebook but I just did not get it...It was a boring, a waste of time, and only encouraged people to be self indulgent... Are you so important that you have to announce to the world that you are now drinking coffee and will soon be taking a shower so that you can walk your dog? That's what I use to think about Facebook and I did not want any part of it...

But for the sake of encouraging my true love blogging, I mean my husband, I decided to give it a try. This time took and now I'm hooked... Now that I have more narcissism practice under my belt, ...via Love, Lust and Life..., I don't mind updating my status to let the world know that I have updated the blog or that I like this photograph. I had no idea that through the application you are able able to customize Facebook and focus on the things that you like to do. Now I take a lot of joy watching my number friends and fans grow. Facebook a great way to get more blog followers and introduces me to a lot of cool info, pictures and links because of my friends updated status.

And if that was not enough I just joined Friend Feed....I must warn you that Friend Feed is equally as addictive as Facebook, but I would still recommend giving it. Friend Feed has many application that keep you connected to Twitter and Facebook so that you can...(clears throat in order to sound convincing)...spend less time on the social networks...When I stumbled upon the site and I had no clue but because of my Twitter experience I found it easy to catch on and it was love at first site (lol, get it!?!...site not sight never mind!). Since I am technologically challenged I copied Wikipedia's definition to explain what Friend Feed is all about:

FriendFeed is a real-time feed aggregator that consolidates the updates from social media and social networking websites, social bookmarking websites, blogs and micro-blogging updates, as well as any other type of RSS/ Atom feed. It is possible to use this stream of information to create customized feeds to share, as well as originate new posts-discussions, (and comment) with friends.^[1] The goal of FriendFeed according to their website is to make content on the Web more relevant and useful by using existing social network as a tool for discovering interesting information. Users can be an individual, business or organization. Bloggers writing about FriendFeed have said that this service addresses the shortcomings of social media services which exclusively facilitate tracking of their own members' social media activities on that particular social media service, whereas FriendFeed provides the facility to track these activities (such as posting on blogs, Twitter and Flickr) across a broad range of different social networks.

So if you become a Facebook friend, a Love, Lust and Life fan, a Twitter follower or a Friend Feed subscriber please contact me and let me now so that I can return the favor.

...Addicted To Facebook- Manic Motherhood

The Look...Of Love...Not In...Your Eyes

Saturday, September 19 Posted by admin | Labels: love

I just read a good article on the blog Waiting For The World To Change and I and felt inspired to write a response. Blog author Zosimee published an excerpt from Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships, a book about the difference between conditional and unconditional love. Reading this article gave me a new perspective and helped me articulate my own beliefs about the authenticity of love. I agree with the overall principles that I read but found myself getting stuck on a couple of the points made issue. Can look be used as evidence of love? ...Wouldn't it be great to know the look of love?

Storm In A Tea Cup uploaded by Poe Tatum

Here's an excerpt taken from The Destructive Legacy of Love that I disagreed with:

"...Fortunately, there are two reliable signs that love is not genuine: disappointment and anger...As a child, I was thrilled when my mother smiled at me, spoke softly, and held me, because I knew from those behaviors that she loved me. I also noticed that she did those pleasant things more often when I was "good" - when I was quiet, grateful, and cooperative. In other words, I saw that she loved me more when I did what she liked...When I was "bad" - noisy, disobedient, and otherwise inconvenient - she did not speak softly or smile at me. On those occasions, she frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in a harsh tone of voice. Although it was certainly unintentional, she clearly told me with those behaviors that she loved me less, and that was the worst pain in the world for me..."

Disappointment, anger, yelling or disapproving looks are emotional reflexes... Not signs of conditional love. Genuine reactions and expressions are what keep us emotionally and mentally well. You can choice the alternative, stuffing or manipulating your reactions in an attempt to display Real Love. Too many people define love as a feeling! When they can't eat and most of their thoughts are consumed by one person, they are in love. But when a person doesn't buy you the present you hoped for it's assumed that they don't have Real Love for you.

Here's another excerpt from the same article:

"Conditional love is [based on]... how...[people] feel...do what they want... or at least...[do]...nothing to inconvenience [them]. In other words, we have to buy conditional love from the people around us...It's critical that we be able to distinguish between Real Love and conditional love. When we can't do that, we tend to settle for giving and receiving conditional love, which leaves us empty, unhappy, and frustrated..."

That's true! Love is a commitment to support and encourage others to best of your ability. Sometimes people that we admire and care for do things that hinder or hurt themselves and/or others. Accepting people for who they are is essential in expressing love but setting personal boundaries is equally important to maintain balance. Every living thing makes toxic materials that must be eliminated in order to function properly; loved gets stifled in realtionships where problems are ignored. Stop trying to tolerate what you believe is bad behavior. . If you yell at someone you love because of a wrong assumption don't beat yourself up. Instead take responsiblity for your mistake, apologize for the hurt you've caused, explain what you plan to do the next time you are tempted to loss it so that they can hold you accountable and ask the person if there is something you can do to make up for it you bad behavior. Get comfortable with making communication mistakes and learn from them and forgive yourself. "Love keeps no record of wrongs."

Feelings and emotions are temporary experiences...not love indicators. So what is love? Love as a noun is the commitment you make to those around you. Love as a verb are the actions you take to help, encourage and appreciate those around you. Feelings are wonderful but should not be confused with Real Love.

Related Post:
Hurt Feelings- Love, Lust and Life
Open Heart- Love, Lust and Life
Complaining About Hubby- Saturday Love
The Destructive Legacy of Love- Waiting On The World To Change

No Bombs Just Dance

Sunday, September 13 Posted by admin | Labels: love

I don't doubt that war is necessary in the world we live in today, but I wish that someone would invent a method of expressing our freedom and power without using weapons. If I had it my way we would fight our battles with a dance contest. .

It's silly concept, I know, but I have recently discovered the power of hope. Wouldn't it be great we could just hope our troops home? So if you know anyone that could change our foreign policies and make this a reality I would greatly appreciate the help. Please try to convince them that dancing is powerful step in the right direction. Whose with me?...

I love movies where the rival gang set up to intimidate and start dancing as an entertaining form of annihilation. Fighting has always been pointless to me. People get hurt and nothing is solved. The point of war is to kill until the other side is too weak to oppose you... Yes I know that it is a little more complicated than that but when you see dead bodies after a silent and peaceful protest it still seems senseless. In war both sides lose innocent civilians and self sacrificing soldiers.

Dancing does not solve much but it does solve the need to vent frustration. If anger and fear are expressed in a healthy way then peace meetings and compromises would be possible.

"My new motto don't shot, just bring it!" I'm not sure if it will catch on but here's hoping.

Related Post:

Never Forget 9/11- Amusing Bunni's Musings
Yesterday's Problems- Positive Attitudes Quotes
Love Your Enemy- Spiritual Sunday

Finding Your Hidden Anger

Saturday, September 5 Posted by admin | Labels: love, Saturday Love, self esteem

You've seen passive-aggression in action...someone persistently denying their anger either imploding or exploding at inappropriate times. Hidden anger can be annoying or very destructive to the bearer or anyone that person comes into contact with. When some people think of anger they envision the Incredible Hulk who warns his audience by saying, "You won't like me when I'm angry". Now it is up to everyone to get out of the way and avoid pushing the buttons of this mild manner human that is two seconds away from becoming a green muscle bound monster that is destined to destroy everything in his path. Aggressive anger is obvious and takes the form of threats, screams, physically blows and destruction. That kind of anger can be scary and the damage is immediate and obvious.

Too many people fear anger so they overcompensate by avoidance, but anger can be very productive. Anger is useful for protecting yourself, solving problems, and spurring on honest and direct communication. Its okay to be angry, so if it occurs don't fight it. Emotions come and go but its up to us to know what to do when we feel them. Anger can never justify being hot headed, mean,rude, self centered, bitter, dishonest, or spiteful. Instead anger should be used as fuel to work through the problem until you come up with a smart and safe solution and then the anger should be let go.

I found the book Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness very helpful in pinpointing the many of the signs of hidden anger. Co-authors Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin write that one of the biggest problems with hidden anger is its ability to mask itself as a mistake, a bad habit or someone else's failure. It can be subtle and hard to spot, but it is just as destructive as aggressive anger. The passive person is not aware of the control that the harbored anger has on their own actions. It could be as harmless as losing your key, arriving late, or accidentally knocking something over; it can be as dangerous as drug abuse or suicidal thoughts. Passive-aggression can be asssoicated with some or all of the following:

Chronic irritability and chronic depression
Self-absorption/narcissism/vanity
Low self-esteem
Self-destructive behavior or acting out
substance abuse and addictive behavior
Unacceptable conduct that's excused for many reasons

This book included a quiz to assess hidden anger. If you're interested take a minute to assess how you're doing by completing a brief questionnaire on 3L-Saturday Love.

When you uncover anger you are able to deal with it in a healthy way. To get angry is not sinful is does not mean that you are likely to go on a murderous rampage, instead it will help you get in touch with your values and problems (or relationships) that are hindering your success in life. By accepting all your emotions as they come it will lead to balanced thinking and productive actions. Don't be so quick to assume that you are free of passivity; I would argue that everyone stuffs their emotions from time to time. Take the time to search your heart and mind for hidden anger and you might be able to explain why your old habits are so hard to break.

Hurt Feelings

Saturday, August 15 Posted by admin | Labels: love

What should you do when a loved one actions triggers hurt feelings? This is a question I've had to ask myself recently. Gambit, my husband, is an incredible man that sometime pushes my buttons. In relationships I usually focus on the positives and try to make adjustments when faced with problems, but sometimes that's not enough............Sometimes you have to share your hurt feelings or you will find yourself resenting the people you love.

When someone hurts you, you should tell them right away and forgive them when they take responsibility for their action and proclaim to make changes so that it will not happen again. Its harder to let things go when that when confronted, the person does not own up to any wrong doing but instead continues to press the same buttons. Without an apology and a promise of repentance I find myself reliving all the times when that person has hurt me; I will not be content until they apologize for each and ever offensive that they've committed against me...Yes I realize that this is the wrong way but I don't know another way to avoid being a doormat.

My marriage is one of the things I treasure the most and it motivates to be the best wife I can be. I realize that harboring old grudges will hurt me and the relationship with my husband. So to change my pattern I've decided to share what bothers me ASAP and talk until I know that I've forgiven completely. Unfortunately I'm new to this practice and I find myself still bringing up old issues in the process. Lucky Gambit has become my guinea pig, patiently enduring the trial and errors of my new communication and relationship style. Thank God for that man and for Flight of the Concords; they both keep me from getting too serious by making me laugh even when I've got...

Hurt Feelings

The Five Languages of Love

Wednesday, June 10 Posted by admin | Labels: love

Sometimes "Saying I love you" is not enough. In the book The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman articulated how people give and receive love. The book is a helpful and interesting resource. The five languages are easy to figure out:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

On the Five Love Languages site Gary writes:

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

Related Links:

http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html

http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp

What is your love language? Which of the five love languages to you express your love to others most often?

The Look of Love - Romantic Animation

Saturday, May 30 Posted by admin | Labels: love

Beauty is only skin deep. So what happens when you can't judge a book by its cover?

Have you ever fallen for someone that is not your type? How much do looks matter in romance?

Football Cartoons

Saturday, April 25 Posted by admin | Labels: cartoons, love

Happy Draft day everyone! To be honest I'm not sure that I would even know about the draft if it wasn't for my husband, the ultimate sports fanatic/enthusiast. I used to watch football with hubby when we were just friends and loved every minute of it, but then we got married and times have changed. I can't sit more than five minutes through a game. I blame hubby. He will listen to sports radio, participate in an online sports forum, while watching a game and talking on the phone about the awesome catch/shot/pass/block…whatever. However hubby sees it different, he thinks I pulled the old bait and switch; pretending to be The Football Girlfriend until he married me than wham, now I ask him to turn the radio down and remind him not to yell so loud as I watch soap operas in a another room.

So today, to show hubby I love him. I will watch the draft today. It really is interesting, though I've only committed 2 hours he's very happy. He is looking forward to teaching me all the in and outs of the strategy, politics and stupid moves that apparently the Detroit Lions Have already made by draft an okay quarterback, wasting their first pick. So for all the football fans out there this post is for you.

Are you a sport fan, a lover of football? How important is it to have a partner that either has the same interest as you or is willing to participate in activities you love?

Eggs, Ice and Tears

Saturday, April 11 Posted by admin | Labels: love

"I can remember sitting on a brown chicken egg. I know that sounds a little too strange but I was four years old. My teacher in preschool had an incubator with chicken eggs so that we could what them hatch. That was one of that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I've always been an animal lover; so to be able to take the place of a hen and birth a baby chicken would be a the best...."

Read the whole post on Saturday Love.

Easter Candy

Posted by admin | Labels: holiday, love

I loved Easter as a kid. The first activity of the day was decorating our Easter Eggs. Then we would eat big breakfast cooked by mom, sometimes with a little help. Next came my favorite, instead of hiding Eastern Eggs, my mom would hide our Easter baskets and the all three of us would have to search the house to find them. It was not that hard because these basket were huge, filled with every kind of Easter goodie that you could imagine. Sometimes we went to church but most of the time we stayed home. I was grateful for all the candy, stuffed animals, and jewelry (great parents, right?!?) that I received on Easter. Still I think that real excitement and joy came from spending quality time with my family: laughing, talking, eating good food and sharing hugs.

So if you like candy for Easter enjoy but don't over indulge. Make sure that you surround yourself with friends and family and share your gummy bears.

Gummi Bears

The Gummy Bear Song - Long English Version

What's your favorite Easter candy? What's your favorite Easter memory? Do you have a special gift for egg decorating?

Mean Kitty Proof

Friday, April 10 Posted by admin | Labels: law of attraction, love

Simply ♥, originally uploaded by Urs Wachter™.

I like to say I secreted my mean kitty into my life. It took about 3 years to convince hubby that having a cat would be good for the family? He used tell me how selfish it was to imprison of animals against their wills. He could only justify owning pets if you lived on acres of land so they could roam free. I tried to approach the pet discussion from every angle possible; I thought it was important that everyone in the family to love our pet so I was willing to wait. I was so excited when I finally heard my husband say that he was open to getting a cat. A few days later I watched The Secret DVD. I wanted to prove to myself that the law of attraction does work by secreting a kitten.

I didn’t know how exactly I would attract a cat into my life. The DVD explained that I would not have to work to obtain my focused desire. Instead the universe would hear my order and would gift opportunities that would bring my focused desire into my life. Low and behold two weeks later a friend of the family called and said that they’d took in an alley kitten that a landlord was trying to get rid of. They’d considered keeping the kitten themselves, but their three dogs were not keen on the creature. After being assured that the cat was a sweet girl who’d make a lovely addition to our family I shared the news with hubby. I was ecstatic, hubby not so much.

I toke Cinna, our sister, to see the kitten to decide if it was a keeper. The plan was to play with the cat to see if she would make a good fit for the family. If we all agreed we would pick her up later that week after we bought all the provisions. Instead I held the tiny orange tabby in my arms and fell in love. Her meows melted my heart as she climb on my shoulder. Our friend suggested that we take kitty home with us and she gave us all the food and supplies they’d bought for her. Cinna was so excited that she insisted that we give kitty a name right away. After many possible contenders we agreed on Tinkerbelle before we made it home. We surprised hubby with our new family member and like I hoped, we all love Tink. Truth is told, hubby is the most protective of Tink.

Tink has been a great addition to the family, but no one would say it’s because of a sweet disposition. Tink, now 2 years old, is not a cuddling cat. Tink has been a hunter of hands and feet, a master at shedding, a sweetie to strangers (rubbing against our guest nice hair free clothes), and gets into to anything that isn’t nailed shut. I could help but laugh and the Mean Kitty song. Even though I feel a slight jealousy for people who have pets that let them pet them, I wouldn’t trade Tink for any other kitty in the world. I love my Mean Kitty.

Are you a pet lover? Share any enduring qualities that make your pets unique?

Love Out Loud

Saturday, March 28 Posted by admin | Labels: love, music

Jennifer Hudson is a beautiful and talented singer who's endured hardships that are unthinkable. Ellen is a person who's genrousity seems to rub off on everyone she touches. So whether your love is romantic, family orienated or an expression of gratitude towards a stranger, make sure to tell your loved ones what they mean to you. You never know how long you will have them this lifetime.

Ellen DeGeneres Surprises Jennifer Hudson W/Engagement Gift

Spoken Word- Love Poems

Tuesday, March 10 Posted by admin | Labels: love, poem

The love poem. The magical gift of words that come from soft lips reasting on the soul of its hearer. Making you feel, refect and anticiptate the words and the moments when you can relate to its wonder. I use to write poems a lot, but not very many love poems. My poems were of a tired and underappreciated man, a totures soul and a forgottn girl. The dark and twisted tones seem to big bigger and more expressive than my happy poems. Still I love a good love poem, because I love love. Love is what we all want and need and have exprieneced. Love is the thing that you never get tired of, even when you feel too tired to give it back.

I found a few poems on YouTube; please let me know what you think.

papergirl : live "I love you"