Missing You…Missing Me

Thursday, July 2 |

"It's been a long time; I shouldn't left you...without a dope beat to step to."

I'm sorry that I have not updated LL&L in so long. I'm trying to convince people that I am a blog addict but nobody will believe me because of my long blogging absences. To that I respond "life happens". If I had my way I would be pretty much glued to the computer or any relevant for book for most of the day. I'd read and write for 14 hours a day leaving me enough time for shower, sleep, sex and exercise (maybe a meal here and there). I'm sure that sounds like a lonely and boring life to you, but it is a dream for me. I have all these thoughts and feelings that I've wanted to share for a couple of decades now so I am more than anxious to express myself. That's why I make a commit to spend at least 10 hours a day working on my blog and then...

...Then life happens. My husband misses me, our kid is sick; I need to take care of paper work... You know the day to day things that happen sprinkled with a few personal crises here and there. The thing is blogging has become my job, my art, my baby... It is not something that I feel good about neglecting. However blogging is not my heart, my life or my family. Listing and ordering your personal priorities can become a pretty complicated process. At least it is for me.

Up until two years ago my life has been about me… and how I relate to people. I'm not a self centered person but I realize now that most of my actions affected only my life so making decisions and schedules was an easy task. Now I am a Gambit's wife and a guardian of Cinna. With only two years of marriage under my belt I feel naïve and ill prepared for a life has become really complicated. Big things are hard to deal with because I have not yet learned how to make decisions as a family. Small thing are starting to concern me because now I see now how buying a loaf of wheat bread affects my whole family. Now I try not to make promises and commitments because I want to make sure that my family is taken care of first.

So where does that leave LL&L, I don't know for sure...What I do know is that this blog has sparked a flame in me that has opened up my eyes and made me feel alive again. I have big plans for LL&L; in fact I've been taking the time to work on a business plan. It is a slow process for me because I am learning about business on my own and I have little business experience. The dork in me loves every minute of research. The faith in me is delighted and excited to see the future success. The kid in me is scared out of her mind and wants to find a safe place to hide from the world until someone else can fix all of my problems. I'm not sure if that makes me weird or if most people can relate to this on some level. Either way this is me and LL&L share it all.

Long story short...LL&L is back and I want to provide all of my visitors with lots of interesting, helpful and fun content..., but it will take some time to fix the kinks to make sure that I am at my best and consistent. To all of my loyal readers Thank You So Much. Your support means the world to me.