Nothing Can Come Between Us

We are our own worst critics. 

I'm sure that statement applies to everyone but I know that I can mentally beat on myself. For instants I hate making the same mistakes over and over again. I act childish and get very timid when I feel really scared. I wear my heart on my sleeve where it seems to take a lot of abuse by strangers and loved ones alike. People imply that I lack maturity; I take that to mean that people don't like me for who I am and struggled to maintain self confidence. After all if the people that claim to love me only tell me what's wrong with me and insist that I change my way of thinking and being, maybe liking myself the way I am is just denial. Feeling of hopelessness and fear of the future make me want to withdraw from the world. 

One thing I have learned is that when you are tired of feeling down it is time to get encouragment from above. When I see God, the perfect majestic creator, and his love for me it's hard for me to get down on myself. God is perfect and he loves me; I should follow his example and learn to love myself unconditionally as well.

Oh how I wish it were that easy. Sometimes my mind goes on the attack with hurtful thoughts: "Of course God can love you but only because he's perfect but you don't make it easy for him", "Yeah he's full of grace but God can't be mocked. You want him to love you, yet you refuse to do the things you know are right", "It takes you a long time to learn for your mistakes or repent of your sins", "You think that just cause you know some scriptures that you can trick him into thinking you love him.", "He knows you better than you know yourself, he sees every sin that you don't acknowledge and get irritated when you pray; you don't care about how he feels you just ask him for things you want like he's Santa Claus.", " Yes God use to love you but he refuses to love you any more until you repent, and let face it, you will never change so just give up now."

Lucky for me I now know that I cannot trust these thoughts, but when I don't deal with them they break me down and I become of vulnerable to them. Here is one of many scripture that help me with this ongoing battle in my mind.

Roman 8:35-39


"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

For you sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.

No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

LL&L two scents:

Jesus loves me this I know but the bible also tells that God love me too. It is hard to think about the sacrifice that both God and Jesus made on the cross and remain doubtful that "he's love endures forever". When I remember the many times that God has saved my life and expressed his desire for me to be closer to Him and it erases the belief that I am alone. Though I have many weaknesses and a seemingly strong sinful nature God loves me and there is nothing that I can do to mess that up. I've seen the power God's love through my bible study and my life experiences so I should rest assured that God will take care of everything that overwhelms me. All I have to do is be honest with Him when things get hard or I feel guilty. God made me and loves me just the way I am, I must be something special.

Have you ever believed that God stopped loving you? If so what did you do about it? If not what is your secret that keeps those thoughts out all together?